Comments on: How to Treat Your Introvert http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/ The vaguely daily blatherations of Aaron Baugher, JF Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:58:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Aaron http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2657 Aaron Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:53:51 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2657 Hi May, thanks for the comment; sorry it took me so long to reply. I'm finding that, as I get older, I'm becoming more interested in talking to people about my thoughts. I'm still very introverted, and this only applies when I'm one-on-one with someone I trust. But when I was younger, I preferred to keep my thoughts and worries to myself; now I feel much better when I can talk them over with someone close. So give him time, and listen patiently when he does open up, and you may find that he gets more comfortable with it. As for "making up for it," I don't know that there's much you can do. Until he <em>wants</em> to open up, demanding it may only make him resentful. I'd say the main thing you can do is respond as positively as possible when he does, to encourage more of the same. You can certainly <em>ask</em> for more, and tell him how much it would mean to you, though. On the "mind constantly going" question, I'm working on a new post on that. For me (I describe it as "my hamster wheel spinning out of control"), that's a separate issue from being introverted, but I do think they're linked (at least in my case). So I hope you'll check back in a few days and let me know what you think of it. Hi May, thanks for the comment; sorry it took me so long to reply. I’m finding that, as I get older, I’m becoming more interested in talking to people about my thoughts. I’m still very introverted, and this only applies when I’m one-on-one with someone I trust. But when I was younger, I preferred to keep my thoughts and worries to myself; now I feel much better when I can talk them over with someone close. So give him time, and listen patiently when he does open up, and you may find that he gets more comfortable with it. As for “making up for it,” I don’t know that there’s much you can do. Until he wants to open up, demanding it may only make him resentful. I’d say the main thing you can do is respond as positively as possible when he does, to encourage more of the same. You can certainly ask for more, and tell him how much it would mean to you, though.

On the “mind constantly going” question, I’m working on a new post on that. For me (I describe it as “my hamster wheel spinning out of control”), that’s a separate issue from being introverted, but I do think they’re linked (at least in my case). So I hope you’ll check back in a few days and let me know what you think of it.

]]> By: May http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2628 May Thu, 03 Nov 2011 15:24:30 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2628 I live with an introvert. I understand about the space and quietness. During the "silent moments", I do want to know what he is thinking. He is also a "thinker." His mind is constantly going and has a hard time sleeping at night because of his thoughts. How do I help ease his mind & help remind him that when I give him his space, he should be courteous and make up for it at other times? I live with an introvert. I understand about the space and quietness. During the “silent moments”, I do want to know what he is thinking. He is also a “thinker.” His mind is constantly going and has a hard time sleeping at night because of his thoughts. How do I help ease his mind & help remind him that when I give him his space, he should be courteous and make up for it at other times?

]]> By: Casbot http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2557 Casbot Sat, 30 Jul 2011 12:22:02 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2557 Why is it necessary to disparage extroverts? It isn't fair of people to assume someone is creepy just because they're quiet, neither is it fair to insinuate someone isn't listening just because they're talkative. I don't agree with the sentiment at all. This was a good article, but the comments are making me feel like a lot of people have missed the point entirely. Why is it necessary to disparage extroverts?

It isn’t fair of people to assume someone is creepy just because they’re quiet, neither is it fair to insinuate someone isn’t listening just because they’re talkative.

I don’t agree with the sentiment at all. This was a good article, but the comments are making me feel like a lot of people have missed the point entirely.

]]> By: Chris http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2540 Chris Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:35:41 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2540 Wow....I can relate to your article. I am an introvert and extremely shy. I had a funny experience with a supervisor I used to work with. She constantly nagged me about how quiet I was. She is definitely an extrovert. So one morning when she came in I asked why is she so loud. The next morning she came in and said that she is loud because the people she lives with cannot hear.(she didn't get it but I was amused by it) Wow….I can relate to your article. I am an introvert and extremely shy. I had a funny experience with a supervisor I used to work with. She constantly nagged me about how quiet I was. She is definitely an extrovert. So one morning when she came in I asked why is she so loud. The next morning she came in and said that she is loud because the people she lives with cannot hear.(she didn’t get it but I was amused by it)

]]> By: Aaron http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2533 Aaron Sun, 19 Jun 2011 03:01:25 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2533 Thanks for the comment; glad you enjoyed the article! Thanks for the comment; glad you enjoyed the article!

]]> By: Tyler http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2525 Tyler Thu, 09 Jun 2011 16:26:08 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2525 Woah.. Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors. On lunch on my phone at this awesome job lol Woah.. Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors. On lunch on my phone at this awesome job lol

]]> By: Tyler http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2524 Tyler Thu, 09 Jun 2011 16:24:17 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2524 This is a great article and very interesting comments. I work around extroverts everyday and they are constantly made nervous when I am quiet. My first day on the job an extrovert called me a creep for being quiet... Definitely didn't make me want to open up. I understand if people do not quite "get" us, but there is no need for something like that. A few days later the same guy said I scared him because I reminded him of a serial killer... Quite and in my own little world for most of the day. This was quickly met with a response that I didn't not stop to think about. I definitely didn't regret it XD. Great article. This is a great article and very interesting comments.

I work around extroverts everyday and they are constantly made nervous when I am quiet. My first day on the job an extrovert called me a creep for being quiet… Definitely didn’t make me want to open up. I understand if people do not quite “get” us, but there is no need for something like that. A few days later the same guy said I scared him because I reminded him of a serial killer… Quite and in my own little world for most of the day. This was quickly met with a response that I didn’t not stop to think about. I definitely didn’t regret it XD. Great article.

]]> By: Gabbybird http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2405 Gabbybird Thu, 25 Nov 2010 21:36:35 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2405 I understand completely about the job. I worked night shift so I could focus more on one task at a time. I CAN multitask, but hate doing it....it makes me feel so scattered, to go from one thing to another. I finally found my dream job...part of the set up is completing one task before you move on....it also requires reflection to make the right decisions in it. I deal with less people, and mostly deal with them on a one to one basis. I suggest you learn what you can from this job, and keep looking for that job that fits you. I could be do this job with what I learned from two previous jobs. Be patient....and hopeful!! I understand completely about the job. I worked night shift so I could focus more on one task at a time. I CAN multitask, but hate doing it….it makes me feel so scattered, to go from one thing to another. I finally found my dream job…part of the set up is completing one task before you move on….it also requires reflection to make the right decisions in it. I deal with less people, and mostly deal with them on a one to one basis. I suggest you learn what you can from this job, and keep looking for that job that fits you. I could be do this job with what I learned from two previous jobs. Be patient….and hopeful!!

]]> By: Paul http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2401 Paul Sun, 14 Nov 2010 09:45:02 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2401 Oh so true about the silence! I've had friends and partners think I was angry or upset when I simply enjoy the space and the comfort of silence. SIlence between friends is a beautiful, wonderful experiene. Thanks for this article. Oh so true about the silence! I’ve had friends and partners think I was angry or upset when I simply enjoy the space and the comfort of silence. SIlence between friends is a beautiful, wonderful experiene. Thanks for this article.

]]> By: Katrina http://www.butteredham.com/blog/2009/09/15/how-to-treat-your-introvert/comment-page-1/#comment-2400 Katrina Sun, 14 Nov 2010 08:55:18 +0000 http://aaron.baugher.biz/blog/?p=1377#comment-2400 Found your link on the Introvert Zone. Love it! Have been explaining these things to family and coworkers for years, but sometimes they simply do not get it. It's quite heartening to see so many other folks posting similar sentiments (Found I.Z. through this post: http://www.stretchd.com/2010/06/27/the-introvert-challenge/ ). Just started a new job and, frankly, not sure how long I'm going to be willing to stay there. Too much noise, too much "team effort," and pressure to multitask. I CAN handle all of those things, but I don't want to and I'm not at my best. Want me to be a good employee? Put me in a quiet room, give me complex tasks, and *back off*! ;) Thanks again for the post! Found your link on the Introvert Zone. Love it! Have been explaining these things to family and coworkers for years, but sometimes they simply do not get it. It’s quite heartening to see so many other folks posting similar sentiments (Found I.Z. through this post: http://www.stretchd.com/2010/06/27/the-introvert-challenge/ ). Just started a new job and, frankly, not sure how long I’m going to be willing to stay there. Too much noise, too much “team effort,” and pressure to multitask. I CAN handle all of those things, but I don’t want to and I’m not at my best. Want me to be a good employee? Put me in a quiet room, give me complex tasks, and *back off*! ;)

Thanks again for the post!

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